EDITORIAL
This website is created by, and forever changing due to the tinkering of, DELETE. It is a truthful account of my gaming life. No one is paying me to endorse anything on this site. In fact, I may be sued for slander (legal term for "free" speech). The setup is as follows: Adequecy link covers the aforementioned slander. Deja Vu link lets you see past issues (this is the first). E-happiness link is a mutating list of the greatest games I have ever played, games that everyone should at least try regardless of what they have been "rated" or "scored". You know what the High Scores link is for, but it may also include strategies and codes. Museum link has all the weird freaks of technology that I have collected, most are peripherals or other non-games. Super Flea link contains items I am selling, items I want, and a link to request what you are looking for so I can find it for you. Unheard of link shows games, or other things that time forgot because of some idiot reviewer who played the game for 30 minutes and couldn't find "depth" gave it an unjust score. Thats all for now. This site will change often and I hope someone actually sees it and writes me about it. Oh, I also wanted to clear up something that a lot of people will want to know. The best platform is the Xbox. It is the most powerful system. Now while you and your Xbox buddys go and have a big circle jerk, I am going to go play Rygar, GTA: Vice, Burnout 2, Shinobi, ICO, Harvest Moon, Klonoa 2, Sky Odyssey, Super Bust-A-Move 2, Way of the Samurai, and a bunch of other "fun" games on my PS2.
DELUSIONS OF ADEQUECY
This section exposes the truth about bad games that get good ratings. The game of the month is.... Mortal Kombat Annihilation. LIES! LIES! LIES! I'm not going to put up a screen shot. Your favorite characters are "fake-muscley" like old HE-MAN figures. THIS IS MORTAL KOMBAT and everyone is saying this is the best version of the game. I once spent my whole paycheck on MK2. I know what i'm talking about. I still worship that game. If you loved MK2 don't touch this game it's too disappointing after all the hype. There's only one fatality per character, and thats it! Do you remember scorpion's spear move? B,B+LP right? WRONG!! Not on this game. The best feature is the unlockable crypts. It's like gambling, but trust me there are games out there that do it better. Just borrow it first. That's all I ask. Sweet Jesus forgive those who have trespassed against Kung Lao.DEJA VU
This is where you can click on links to past issues. There are no past issues yet, so go kiss your hole. I may not put out an issue per month, or I might put out one per day just to aggravate you, and myself. This magazine may not always be about games either, I may start putting in music and movies. I might even sell my "well worn" shoes. I am the devil, stop me before I kill again. SATAN, DADDY, SATAN, DADDY, SATAN.E-HAPPINESS
Ok, this is the whole reason anyone has a website. Here is where I list games that you should not live without. They will be listed by religion (I hope you're circumcized).This is Columns III for genesis. It is the pinnacle of the columns series sucka!
Other than the classic columns gameplay, you have several modes to select. Opponents can be thwarted in many a splendorous way. After a few combos, you will earn points that you can use to raise your enemy's floor, or lower your own. After each successful battle a treasure chest opens revealing items to further ruin the bad guy's day. Magic jewels, screen-clearing jewels, floor-lowering heavy weights, and continue-allowing hourglasses are all the order of the day! I need a adjective-coaching teacher. and maybe some mind-altering dope. If I committed suicide, empty pill bottles, a desperately scrawled letter, and rigor mortis, would all be the order of the day!
HIGH SCORES
Under High Scores ye shall find a varied lot. Two articles from sidcrazy (the "good" dale) and the High Score post. The pic of my high score for Duck Hunt was erased. But I have to post something! So...
| GAME | SYSTEM | SETTINGS | SCORE | WHO |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Duck Hunt | NES | Two Ducks 4 Feet | 40,000 | DELETE |
and now, take it away sid...
Power to the Portables
Greetings, and hello again. Today I want to express a unique look at the gaming market. So let the trumpets play, and bring up the curtain, it is time for grammar that would make a English major cry. Do you know what is selling better than PS2? Nintendo's little helper, the game boy advance. It has already sold upwards of 100 millions units shipped. And it is selling nearly double the amount of PS2 consoles. This system first released in 1989, has been around forever. Great portable systems like the Atari Lynx, Sega's game gear, and nomad couldn't compete with this monster. SNK, and Bandai had no such luck either, there Neo Geo pocket, and the Japanese only Wonderswan were crushed by the "boy". And all these systems, were superior, in terms of technology, but still had no chance. With that said, and this many gameboy's purchased, it seems to me that the gameboy is the best selling console of all time, or at least so far. Now some would argue that is NOT a console, and I don't feel like arguing, but I think there is an underlining factor. Portability, the defining point of the gameboy, and it's best selling point. March Nintendo will launch it's new Gameboy advance SP system, which is basically just a revamped version of the original, with a lit screen. The screen is not backlit, it is actually front lit. The lights are placed to the right and left of the screen. Now allot of people who had issues with the screen be alot happier with the new setup. So which leads me to my point, maybe the next few gaming platforms will not be so dependent on a monitor, or other such devices. It would be able to be taken anywhere, and enjoyed. Maybe portable gaming is the future. -sidcrazyMUSEUM
Welcome to the dusty old museum of my mind. Here you will find gaming's antiques and oddities I have collected over the years.
IN THE SHOWCASE THIS ISSUE...
Behold the NEGCON, Namco's answer to the steering wheel. Players steer by twisting the controller's center. The red I and II buttons are analog, along with the L1 button. It was made for the playstation, but is supported by the PS2's Ridge Racer V.
SUPER FLEA
FOR SALE...Enter VR Troopers. Still in manufacturer's packaging, these lil' beauties suffer from only one blemish, the Rose's price tag (yuck!).
E-mail me with your offers. I will start the bidding at 2 dollars (buyer pays shipping).
Also, anyone who has Castle of Deceit for the NES, CONTACT ME!!!!!
UNHEARD OF
This section is devoted to the strange games that many unfortunates will never experience. I assure you, I WORSHIP THIS ISSUE'S GAME. I have a deep, deep love for this genius-bore jewel!AND IN THE TREASURE CHEST THIS ISSUE...
MUSYA for SNES is a rare side-scroller (and my favorite-DELETE). You play as Imoto, the lone survivor of a great battle. Imoto descends into the abyss to rescue an amulet and the woman who possesses it.
In addition to magic, there is a stab attack (like castlevania's whip), and a spin attack that deflects projectiles and hits enemies multiple times. Each time a boss is defeated you learn a new spell, and there are lots of hidden areas and surprises. Musya's best feature is its mood. The music and story are high quality. Nice blurry pic eh? This game slays God.